You Can’t Make Me

Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?

There are several foods I will never eat again in this lifetime, precisely because I was force fed them as a child. Undoubtedly, they would instantly transport me back to long suppressed nightmares of being made to remain at the table until every last morsel had been consumed. In the breakfast category, it was the store brand rice puffs. It was sold in 5 gallon plastic bags as I recall, not even cardboard boxes. No matter how much sugar was added, it never tasted as good as Cap’n Crunch, which was maybe a once a year luxury. Runny scrambled eggs remind me of my father ineptly making breakfast once. I think my mother was in the hospital and he decided to scramble some eggs up, but they were still runny. He made us eat them nevertheless. I cannot eat eggs to this day unless they’re fully cooked. Occasionally, my mother would make liver and onions because my father liked it. The rest wait in horrible trepidation waiting for the plate of sliced organ to be placed before us and ordered to eat it up. Tuna fish casserole never went down cleanly either. It went against my rule that canned tuna fish should only be served as a sandwich and NEVER with noodles. Which brings us to the last one: macaroni and cheese. My mother would add a can of crushed tomatoes to the gunk and I just could not eat it. To this day, you can’t make me.

My Seven Wanders

What countries do you want to visit?

I want to feel the hot Egyptian sun along the Nile and see the great pyramids and sphinx; walk upon the marble of the Acropolis; gaze upon the Sacred Valley from the heights of Machu Picchu; confront the terra-cotta army in Shaanxi, China; ponder the grandeur of the Taj Mahal in Agra; be made small beneath the dome of the Sistine Chapel, and pay homage at the beaches of Normandy.

I seem to be aging well

What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

A lot of people looked their best in their 20’s. Or maybe they peaked in high school. Sadly, some folks were fantastic look toddlers and then their cuteness faded. I was one of these. I was a terrible looking child. An okay looking adult, but I’m sixty now and I’ve aged into my looks. This just may be my decade. I hope so.