But wait! A new survey is out linked above that posits we are shooting quite a bit above our desirability index. Because the pain of rejection online does not compare to the pain of rejection IRL, we are much more willing to shoot high. I know I’m certainly guilty of this. I’m messaging lingerie models all the time (as it happens these are pics of actual lingerie models, but when they message back, it’s a scammer in Nigeria).
We are aiming 25% above our own desirability and we have a low rate of response, but an occasional response from a hotty is better than no response at all. According to the survey, Asian women and white men are the most desirable. It also says the younger the woman, the better. Men peak around 50, which means I may be a bit overripe.
One 30 year old woman had 1500 messages in one month. That’s approximately way the hell more than I get. I would’ve liked to have had more info on her. Presumably she’s attractive and approachable, but was she overtly sexual. How many messages got a response? Could she possibly keep a job?
The article also says writing novels to introduce yourself pretty much doesn’t work. Short and sweet works best. Personally, I try to indicate I read her profile and I try to be humorous. I feel if I can get you to smile, I may just open the door a crack. Some women require you write a certain amount of words. I admit this drives me a little nuts. I don’t want to write a term paper; I just want to say hello, take a look at me. If you like what you see, say hello back.
As for me, I’ll keep messaging the lingerie models. According to the survey I should only have a 10 to 20% successful response rate. My success rate is actually 100%, I’m waiting for the one that doesn’t respond. Maybe she’s the real one.
Hat tip to BlueMoon.
#onlinedating #middleaged #manspov #middleageddating #lastfirstkiss #desireabilityindex #onlinedatingsurvey