Money, it makes the world go around, the world go around, the world go around.
It’s sad but it’s true. We are in the latter part of our careers. We pretty much have what we’re going to have. Granted, with the kids mostly grown and the mortgage perhaps paid off, a lot of financial ground can be made up in a final sprint. And after a money-draining divorce, most likely it has to be. If we were dating in the real world, the physical component would reign utmost in our first appraisal, but online we have the answers to a whole questionnaire ready for our perusal.
We all have qualifiers, the characteristics we won’t allow our potential match to fall below. Usually, it’s not one thing but several. Age is usually the first non-photographic quality we look at. We may have a 10 year period we’re willing to work between. Mine is around 14, skewed more below my age than above. Height too tends to be a disqualifier. Women tend to not want men shorter than themselves; men tend to not want women taller. I am 6′ tall and have on my profile that I prefer tall women. Women often message me saying they’re probably too short. Let me just say, cute trumps short every time. There are a bunch of different qualities of lesser or greater importance from education to childrens’ ages we use to gauge whether to pursue or let loose.
Finances. PoF, unlike Zillow, doesn’t allow you to give your desired price range. At first, one must make conjectures about the financial status of a potential match. Education, profession and town are big clues and the “about me” might provide a few more. The higher the education, the more lucrative the profession, and the more expensive the town, the more likely your date is doing well financially. What financial information are we, folks who have worked most of our careers, looking for in our potential long term relationships. After all, perhaps one doesn’t mind going out for a drink with flop house Fanny, but you’re not introducing her to the kids anytime soon.
The term I see used most often is “financially independent”. Women often use it to note they don’t need your money in the least. They’re fine with or without you. Men, I think, are looking for the financially independent. Maybe rich men aren’t. They may have so much money, another set of lips on the money teat doesn’t amount to much, but to your average guy it does. They don’t want a new burden this late in the game. I’ve heard women say they don’t want to be the nurse or purse to some soon-to-be geezer, better to be alone. Men are much the same.
I think we tend towards our traditional roles when it comes to finances. A man may hope his date is doing well, but not too well for heaven’s sake. Some may find a woman making more than themselves a bit intimidating. Having gone on several dates with women of various economic status, I have found women reluctant to help or pickup the check, even it they’re the one who asked for the date. For a short period there, I was going on a few dates a week. I had to stop because it was threatening my financial independence. As for me, I have no macho pride. I’ll happily allow my potential mate to spoil me with trinkets and vacations in Monte Carlo. No pride at all.
#onlinedating #middleaged #manspov
#middleageddating #lastfirstkiss #love