A reader commented on my catcall posts and reminded me this is supposed to be a blog about online dating. She went onto write that receiving an online greeting is much like being whistled at on the street. In short, I agree. We do these little drive-by catcalls and see if they stick.
On all of the dating sites I’ve seen, one can simply check off women (or men, of course) one finds attractive on your handy touchscreen. It literally couldn’t be any easier or more devoid of emotion, much like the street catcall. And while, it isn’t completely anonymous, unless a fake account is being used, one feels safely separated from the receiver of said instant attraction. You’re sending out a sounding ping, waiting to see if it comes back.
In the world of online dating, the ability to simply whistle one’s attraction is absolutely equal opportunity. Women get to be just as superficial and judgemental as us men. Congratulations, I guess.
I admit I have swiped right or hit the heart icon on women whose profiles I’ve never read, basing my attraction solely on looks. I had no idea if they were 3 miles away or 60. I just swiped right and, if they did the same, I’d look into them a little deeper. And I might reject them on the second, deeper look, based on maybe their location or political leanings or some other quibble. After all, I haven’t put any emotion into it yet. I’m just driving by, shouting, Nice legs or Hubba hubba.
I have been pinged too. On POF, there’s a “meet me” option where a woman can just check off my pic and I get notified a woman wants to meet me. I know she’s put zero effort in and really there’s little chance she even wants to meet. I rarely reply to these. I was walking down the street once with a friend. He was a small-time mobster, shylocking and gambling mostly. Some distance behind us, I could hear a guy whistling and saying, Yo, wait up. I told my friend I thought somebody wanted to talk to him and he said, I don’t turn around for whistles. Let the asshole run to catch up. I got fuckin’ dignity.
#onlinedating #middleaged #manspov
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