Drawn Curtains and Cobwebs

I’ve been remiss. This blog has grown cobwebs. It’s dusty. I need to cast the curtains aside, open the windows, let in some fresh air, and shed some light, but I’m reticent. The reason I started this blog was to give myself a reason and an excuse to write a bit each week on a single theme. I chose online dating for a man on the down slope, so to speak. I guess I could optimistically say I’m middle-aged, but senior citizenry is right there ahead of me. Pretty soon I will be able to get into films at the reduced rate. There are all sorts of discounts and specials awaiting me in just a few more years, The AARP (American Association of Retired People) has been sending me membership forms for years now. Stop, please. I notice younger people give me respect I have not earned. This blog was supposed to be a humorous reliving of my adventures into the dating world after two fairly long relationships. A whole new world beckoned and it appeared to be geared towards my strengths.

You see I’m not a horrible looking guy, nor am I terribly overweight. True, I’m balding, but I’m in good shape financially and, really, let’s face it: if you’re a single woman on the verge of retirement, the latter is the more important. My secret weapon though, and the reason the digital dating world is my particular oyster, is I can write pretty well. And while the first enticement is looks, the second is probably communication skills. I never really looked at other men’s profile, but I can only imagine they’re pretty bad. Whenever I’ve matched with a woman, I’ve been pretty successful at getting the relationship off the ground with the written word. I can get them to laugh; I ask interesting questions; I’m engaging and am there for them. I often wish I could keep it in that realm, but women like to move onto phone calls…quickly. And while, I can write women silly, I become the silly one when we move to using our actual voices. I stumble and stammer, run out of things to say, and make excuses (often before the call is even made, I’ll say, I have to make it short, I have (insert inane reason here).

Amazingly, I have managed to move onto real dates and once we both get through my initial shyness, I have gone onto several lasting relationships over the last couple of years. Well, as lasting as they can be, acknowledging there have been several in less than two years. And there have been many, many one-offs. I have gotten into a few sexual predicaments. In other words, despite my absence, digital dating has continued to fill my mind, if not this blog, with plenty of material. So why have I not continued? I had been building a steadily growing audience worldwide, which I’ve lost for the most part. The short answer to why I stopped is: I had painted myself in a corner. Many of the women I dated were aware of the blog and I hadn’t built up quite the time differential I needed to say, Oh, dont worry, dear, that’s the distant past. More importantly, I fell deeply into a relationship that confused and enthralled me and in some ways still consumes me. And I cannot write about it. So here I am.I will get back to it. I promise.

In the meantime, something else of interest has come up…maybe you’ve heard of this coronavirus…

#lastfirstkiss #love #aging #fiction #coronavirus #covid-19 #nyc #pandemic #coronavirus