Ms. Kim texted me Hello James out of the blue. We had had a perfectly fine first date (see Pt 1 here). True there had been no fireworks, but I thought it was worthy of a second date. She had apparently given it a great amount of thought, weighed the pros and cons, and found me wanting. She canceled our second date by text only a few hours before we were supposed to meet. Honestly, I’ve done some crappy things during my dating days and I figured karma was having a laugh at my expense. I had already filed her away in the cold case drawer. I texted her back a tepid Hey. That’s when she George Costanza’d me.
How are you? She returned. I haven’t heard from you in a while. That’s my usual response to being dumped, dear, I thought. I tend to end the chitchat. She was acting like we were still a thing. I have found most events in one’s life can find parallels or solutions in either of these four canonical sources: the Bible, Shakespeare, Seinfeld or The Godfather. This didn’t quite seem a Leave the gun; take the cannoli moment. I’m sure the Bible and a Shakespeare comedy could help me through this, but I didn’t have the energy to think that hard. My mind instantly went to Seinfeld, as it often does. Specifically, the episode when George quits his job on a Friday, realizes he’s made a terrible mistake, and shows up on Monday like nothing ever happened. The boss doesn’t buy it and throws him out, but I always liked the idea of just rewinding back before a bad or embarrassing moment. All parties just had to suspend their disbelief. Ms. Kim was George in this scenario and I was the boss. I decided I wasn’t going to call her on it. I wanted to see where this went.
We arranged to meet again for a late afternoon drinks and appetizers at a high scale place. The second date resembled the first in most ways. Admittedly, it was a little awkward, because I had it in mind she didn’t really find me worthy. I soldiered on, nevertheless. I discovered she was a bit contrary. She didn’t seem to believe the things I told her. She said she enjoyed writing and I told her I did too. She didn’t quite scoff, but her reaction was akin. I’m a blue collar worker, maybe she didn’t think men like me could have such aspirations. I had to send her a few pieces I quickly copied off my blog. I’ve always been partial to The Power of No (here, if you’d like a peek), so I had her read it. She liked to talk about money (and I’m not adverse to the subject), but again subtly undermined the things I said. At the same time, I distinctly got the feeling she liked dominant men. Her contradictoriness may just be her way of separating the wheat from the chaff (Bible allusion there, btw). Honestly, the second date didn’t stoke any more fires of desire within me. I made a third date all the same.
I don’t know why I continued the relationship. Maybe I’m a little contrary myself and wanted to see where we ended up. Undoubtedly, I did find her physically very attractive. Ms. Kim was in her very early 50’s, but easily could have been mistaken for a 40 year old. She was 5’6″ or so with an athletic body, neither buxom or big-assed, but endowed proportionately. Men did not stop mid-step to gawk, but she pleasantly eased into your view. My eyes lingered there. Her habit of pushing her horn-rimmed glasses back from the tip of her nose was endearing. Her personality could best be described as prickly. I weighed that attribute and found it wanting, but for some reason I wanted to follow the path farther. I invited her back to the restaurant near me, the one she had cancelled so abruptly the month before. I wondered all that Saturday if she would back out last minute, but she did not. We met at the restaurant, had a very good dinner, and shared a bottle of malbec, her preferred wine. Something within me shifted ever so slightly at this dinner. I liked her just a bit more, maybe she felt the same. The conversation was easier. The smiles more frequent. When I walked her to her car, I kissed her deeply for the first time. We parted saying we’ll see each other again the next weekend. For the first time, I felt optimistic about this relationship. Funny thing happened though…
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