You Can’t Make Me

There are several foods I will never eat again in this lifetime, precisely because I was force fed them as a child. Undoubtedly, they would instantly transport me back to long suppressed nightmares of being made to remain at the table until every last morsel had been consumed. In the breakfast category, it was the store brand rice puffs. It was sold in 5 gallon plastic bags as I recall, not even cardboard boxes. No matter how much sugar was added, it never tasted as good as Cap’n Crunch, which was maybe a once a year luxury. Runny scrambled eggs remind me of my father ineptly making breakfast once. I think my mother was in the hospital and he decided to scramble some eggs up, but they were still runny. He made us eat them nevertheless. I cannot eat eggs to this day unless they’re fully cooked. Occasionally, my mother would make liver and onions because my father liked it. The rest wait in horrible trepidation waiting for the plate of sliced organ to be placed before us and ordered to eat it up. Tuna fish casserole never went down cleanly either. It went against my rule that canned tuna fish should only be served as a sandwich and NEVER with noodles. Which brings us to the last one: macaroni and cheese. My mother would add a can of crushed tomatoes to the gunk and I just could not eat it. To this day, you can’t make me.