Bring That Delicious Bald Man to My Tent

harem

Said no woman ever. I’m balding, maybe I’m bald already. I could never figure the tipping point. Just as there are women who will not consider short or fat men, I am sure there are some who will not look twice at a bald man. Of those who will (and I don’t know what the percentage is, but I think it’s high), some have certain rules: shave it to the scalp, buzz cut it, keep it business length but grow a nice beard. Problem is every woman has a different opinion, so if you can’t please everyone, please the one you’re with. And I’m with me, so I keep it fairly short.

The universal rule all women seem to be in agreement is don’t ever comb over. One tends to look like an outrageously plumed bird or a certain orange president. Just don’t do it. Baseball caps or any hat is fine (with the possible exception of a tweed bucket hat that I personally thought lent a certain dapper air) in a picture or two, but let them see your follicle-challenged pate in at least one pic. Tell them it’s TOO much testosterone, not too little. They won’t believe you anyway.

Speaking of hats, I’ve figured out some of the tricks women (and I’m sure men) play:          1-Nothing but head shots. You have body issues. Or I should say, you believe your body is imperfect. And most likely, you’re right. Pretty much nobody has the perfect body.              2-Blurry pics. I’m thinking wrinkles, but there might be something else going on. I went out on a date early on with a blurry pic lady. She appeared quite pretty through the haze. When I met her though, she had two mountainous moles on either side of her forehead. At least I think they were moles; they may have been devil’s horns just beginning to sprout. She was very pretty otherwise.                                                                                              3-Sunglasses. You’re hiding in plain sight. Maybe you’re married. Maybe you don’t want the neighbors to know you’re on an online dating site. We see you and we know it’s you Jackie Onassis.                                                                                                                                      4-Contorted body. You’ve managed to wrestle your form into a position that highlights your best body parts. Sadly, you can’t count on being able to contort yourself the same way on a date.                                                                                                                                          5-Sucked in cheeks and kissy lips. Narrows out the face, I guess, but you’re looking a little fishy.

#baldmen #onlinedating #middleaged #manspov #middleageddating #lastfirstkiss

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