Of Boobs and Men

s-l300*Note: Men don’t care she has no arms

Women know, of course. Men are infinitely mesmerized and entertained by women’s breasts. At least in theory and at a safe distance. Up close and personal, we’re more like a horse playing poker, clumsy and misguided. It is a rare woman’s profile that does not provide some glimpse of the boobs, whether it be an incidental bit of cleavage or full on showcase, like the steak cart at Peter Luger’s. TaDaaaa…Would you like the porterhouse this evening, sir?

There is a message being passed here. I don’t know if it’s always intentional, but I know it is sometimes. There is a pose I’ve noticed several times. I call it the Rose Dawson after the drawing by Jack in the movie Titanic. Legend has it that Kate Winslet was practically hung by her heels to produce the perkiness desired. These profile pics obviously took quite a bit of wrangling. The lady is often laying on her back, head towards the camera and eyes looking longingly, but it’s the boobs that are on display, bursting explosively like a July Fourth firework. The message is, I think, I have boobs, they may or may not be real, but they’re spectacular.

Sometimes it’s an evening gown worn during some important occasion and Mom has the guns out on display. I often think it may be her child’s wedding. The hair is done, the gown is spectacular, the boobs are front and center. Bam! I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste the $3000 and 6 months of dieting it took me to look this good just for one picture in a wedding album. Some women do the bikini on the beach. These are women in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. They’ve been blessed with fantastic genes or worked their butts off in the gym. Some women are sloppy, but damn they’re proud of their boobs too. They know men are suckers for boobs. We just cannot help ourselves.

One last boob shot. You happen upon a woman who is wearing a bra on her main pic and she looks fantastic, model-like. She’s gazing into a full-length mirror wearing a thong, somehow showing off her flawless ass and her bountiful boobs simultaneously. And guess what? She lives only a few miles away. You message her hello and in moments she messages you back. This is all too good to be true, you think. Well, she’s a scam, buddy. Keep it moving.

#onlinedating #middleaged #manspov #middleageddating #lastfirstkiss #boobs

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