Hi, Won’t You Tell Us a Little About Yourself

text-fall-distracted-man-to-off-cliff-texting-34608221So I’ve set up my profile, answered all the questions, posted a few demented pictures, and written a couple of paragraphs about myself. This is what I said:

Hello there. I’m a 55 year old man in the last few years of my career. Im a little closer to fit than average, but don’t go expecting 6 pack abs. That’s all I’m saying. I’m hoping to find someone to share what’s coming next, which hopefully is many more years of fun, excitement and discovery. I’m a little bit shy, so it might be best if you’re somewhat extroverted. And tall is good, too.

I work in a very male-dominated industry, very macho, but find that off-putting. I’d really like to find a good woman to balance out my work life. I do a lot of walking and hiking. Love, love, love the beach. I could easily stay on the beach from dawn to dusk. How much better it would be with an attractive, fun, and funny woman.

I do enjoy broadway, museums, concerts, music, reading and writing (not so much ‘rithmetic). Unlike the GoGos, I don’t have the beat, but I kinda wish I did. Shoot me a line, if any of this interests you. Thanks

So you made it to here. You deserve a joke: 2 brothers stole a calendar; unfortunately for them, they got caught. At sentencing, they each got 6 months!

What in God’s name was I trying to accomplish with those few sentences? I wanted to present myself as breezy and non-threatening, somewhat humorous and self-deprecating, while at the same time noting that I am employed, I do try to stay fit, and I can not dance. I later added the corny joke at the end to shore up my funny bonafides.

Little did I know that 99% of the people on this site hike, walk, and love the shore. One might as well write blah, blah, blah. It accomplishes the same thing. Kayaking and cycling are also big. Apparently everybody also loves sunsets, their children are their priority, and their friends always consider them charming. Nobody on here has been divorced through any fault of their own. Very few women are looking to just date and I haven’t seen a single one looking for a FWB situation.

Everyone on PoF has a great sense of humor that is sometimes sarcastic, but not in a mean way. Most women on here love professional sports to an extraordinary extent. I suspect they may be stretching the truth sometimes. I’m the opposite. I don’t have much use for sports, so saying the Rangers are Your team does nothing for me, but it must bring comfort to the average couch yam. I think what is really being conveyed is that she gets it, you want to watch some sports on Saturday and Sunday. It’s fine.

More people than not keep their political views to themselves. Those that do give an opinion usually tell 45 supporters to not bother. Occasionally, you’ll find a proud conservative. Very few people bring up God in their profiles. I avoid those that do religiously. Online daters seem to trend liberal and are casually religious.

Except for my pictures, which I didn’t realize were horrible, I was ready to step into the abyss and hit the “Meet me” button.

#onlinedating #middleaged #manspov #middleageddating #lastfirstkiss #badpics

5 thoughts on “Hi, Won’t You Tell Us a Little About Yourself

  1. Motorcycles. In almost every profile.
    I forgot to mention walks on the beach and I totally forgot to add a boob shot – is that really a thing, or am I that naive?
    And, I do like following the Yankees. Connects me to my dad. Way way back when I was an angry 14 year old the game gave us safe, common ground.
    It will be fun to follow your adventure. Yours was a profile that I could read without feeling like I had to wear a hazmat suit.
    Your blog is even better.
    Now, gotta go edit my profile.

    Like

  2. This is hilaripous! I think you sound adorable and funny and I actually know that you are. Dear God, my personal profile would read something like this: Yes, I like Pina Coladas and basically any other cocktail you want to throw my way. No more than 4 or I’m dreadfully obnoxious and hard to deal with which you will hate and I will find amusing. I procrastinate, over analyse, dream excessively and then turn into mad-dash devilment at the eleventh hour. I don’t care what your favourite colour is and if you like kayaking – all I need to know is that you can make me laugh over a nice filet mignon and pay homage to my cowboy boots. I’m fun in a tri-polar kind of way with large doses of quirky and am looking for a partnership where we gently bully each other until one of us dies.

    Like

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