Of a Relative Age

Age is relative. Age is the drunken uncle that punches me in the face right before I look in the mirror each morning. Or the bratty niece that kicks me in my knees and ankles before I start my evening walks. Age can be the nasty spouse saying mean things when I needed encouragement. Age may be relative, but usually not a very kind one.

I continue to be 55 years old. I remember my parents turning 35 when I was 10 or so. I thought they were ancient. Up until just recently, I would hear some of my high school teachers were still there educating. I would think, how is that possible? Weren’t they already old when they taught me? Math, which I learned from them, tells me they were probably in their very early thirties. I thought they were in their fifties.

When I was 24 or so, a young lady lied to me and said we were the same age. We dated for some time before I learned she was 28. I broke up with her because I thought she was too old for me. Now that I am in my mid-fifties, I’m fully aware no woman younger than 40 will even look once at me. At about 45 or so, some women may look my way. The rare one will even look twice. I have messaged women in their late thirties. I always get the automated message back immediately: “Soandso only accepts messages from certain users. Why don’t you message someone closer to your own age, Crypt Keeper?” The youngest I’ve ever exchanged messages was 42. 46 was my youngest date.

From the messages I get, I surmise older women seem to like me very much. Even now, 60 seems old to me. When I turn 60, I will raise the moment one turns old to 70. It will continue to rise as long as I do. I think the oldest woman I have messaged was 63. I went out on a few dates with a 60 year old. The range of years I find attractive has expanded upwardly with every year I get older, but I notice I have qualifiers. I usually think to myself, she looks great for a 60 year old. She could pass for her early fifties. And what does that even mean? I suspect I mean she must have great genetics or diet and exercise has done well by her. Maybe she has had plastic surgery and it has been done very successfully.

I know occasionally I meet a guy and I find out we’re the same age. Sometimes I think, “Holy crap, he must smoke, drink, and eat to excess. And the sun did him no favors. Also, stress!” I have to remind myself, that’s what 55 looks like. It seems my relative age may be grandfather.

#age #aging

#onlinedating #middleaged #manspov

#middleageddating #lastfirstkiss #love #kissing #sex

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s